Vulnerable, sensitive, rare
engulfed by all the one’s we’ve loved
connected to everything
always reminded of something
With compassion comes pain
isn’t it ironic?
we must carry the heaviness of our lives
or it will smother us
I’m no good at feeling, they say
the pain will go away
please stay
i should change my ways
Talk a lot but never really say anything
no action turning to silence
like sunset shadows and broken skies
we drift away into a new day
143.
“Let em come, the storms, the rain. Let them blow and shake, rattle and flash. These feet will not move, I will lean into the fray and dance in the chaos. I am built for enduring all that can be thrown at me. See me here, still, and listen to the sky tremble.” // Tyler Knott
I’m dancing in the rain. This has been, to put it lightly, a whirlwind of a week, month, year. So here I am on the road again, endlessly discovering myself and my purpose. Refocused and ready to find clarify through this mayhem.
I have always said that time is merely a concept and for reasons that I cannot explain, life will turn to us at any given moment and say “time to put this chapter to rest, lets write an even better one.” So that is what we do, because at the end of the day I think it is safe to say we all know and understand that pain in never permanent.
One day, one decision, one brave moment; that is all it took. I sincerely believe that we have to take risks in order to learn hard life lessons. It isn’t always easy and I promise you that no matter how much you try, you will never be prepared for whatever the outcome is. I tried to protect and prepare myself for all possibilities: it was not enough. There are some things that we just cannot feel until we are in the moment as it is unraveling. Bittersweet and coated with anxiety. When it happened I thought the answer was to gulp the pain and avoid making others suffer. I put myself in a position that I perceived as weak. Thank-you to my friend who reminded me that taking a chance is brave and I should be proud – no matter the aftermath.
There is no growth in comfort. We grow most as a result of the painful and challenging times. This life is not a matter of win or lose – it is a matter of learning. If there is one lesson I encourage people to embrace in their own hardships, it is that you should never reject your instinct. Trust it. Look within and follow your gut – it is leading you somewhere. Be mindful of yourself. What is meant to be will be. I truly believe that some things are meant to stay while others are destined to leave. It is dangerous to count on someone else with your heart and soul. However it’s a risk we take and I’ll tell you one thing – it’s always worth it. People do not want that pressure; it scares them but we do it anyways; often times surprising ourselves with how much we are capable of. So be your own foundation and seek support from friends and family. They are your home team; they are your #1.
When you are facing times in your lives where you are hurt by circumstances you cannot control, take the chance that life is giving you to heal. When one door closes, many doors open.
So until then, dance with me in the rain.
Head up, heart strong.
I strive to be a woman of eloquence. A woman full of soul and of meaning. Through my writing, I achieve a sense of such eloquence. I write to hold on. I write to let go. I write because I am a firm believer that we do not have to go through things alone – the good and the bad. We have the ability to connect with each other by sharing and expressing how we feel about our experiences. It is liberating to be able to convey emotions through the arts. Writing, singing, dancing, drawing, painting & photographing. All of these talents allow us to expose ourselves with ease. My ability to express myself through words helps make sense of my views on this world. I do not write to speak. I write to inspire. I write with the desire to brighten the day of someone reading my post. I want the words that people read to be simple yet powerful. I want people to feel something when they read what I compose.
Our lives are like a puzzle, and everyday we are adding new pieces to complete what our life will be made up of. That moves me. I find comfort in the fact that we have passion and purpose.
Edward Lewis said,
“We define ourselves by the best that is in us, not the worst that has been done to us.”
This blog, my posts & these words that you read are me. My writing is how I define myself. I am sharing with all of you, what I feel is the best in me.
What entices me most about the concept of writing is how freeing it truly is. I have always enjoyed the mere thought of being able to get my thoughts out in such a way that is was understandable to the reader. And by that I mean – a way in which my words aren’t complete gibberish. When your words are thoughts, they can be jumbled, confusing, scribbled quick like a picture a little kid drew during kindergarten art class. But I guess that’s the great thing about most peoples creative talents – they are all our own form of art. They don’t have to make sense or prove anything, they don’t have to teach anything – they merely have to exist. And maybe most of you think that is a waste, but if I have even one reader who can relate, or one reader who feels touched or helped by the words I am scribbling down – then my art has a whole new meaning because my art already has meaning – it is meaningful to me.
The chronicles of a mind that never stops wandering.
What does that mean? Where am I going with this?
Well, I don’t really know either. What I do know is that I have the inability to shut my mind off. I mean really, this brain of mine never stops wandering. I think, I write, I think, I write. But I never write on paper, I never write online (until now). The writing has always been composed in my mind, where is was stored and locked away. But as a twenty-something, what good is that? Why not share the chronicles of this busy, wandering mind of mine? So that is precisely what I am going to do. I will share with all of you, the craziness of what it is that is going on in my head which is both a blessing and a curse.
My aspiration of one day being able to truly take my thoughts and compose a beautiful piece of literature has to start somewhere. So today, it will start here.
twentysomethingchronicles.com 