You don’t have to fear the darkness
Light yourself up
a flickering flame
in the home of your own soul.
And don’t you allow your heart to crack
at the hands of others
bitter words,
cold actions,
silence.
Toughen your exterior
heighten your criteria.
Not everyone should be
granted access to your energy.
You are as pure as they come
so fuck the masses.
Cultivate your own chaos
rather than carrying the
weight of others.
You mustn’t lose
your madness,
baby –
✴
What drives you?
Your pain or your compassion?
I ask this question with strong intent to understand people on a deeper level. Our hearts and minds can be messy. It’s important to communicate openly and honestly with one another about where we’ve been, where we’re at and the direction in which we want to go. Yes, that requires vulnerability – something many of us shy away from. But vulnerability allows us to be seen and heard. It is the ability to open up our hearts to one another, provide a sense of belonging and remind each other that we are worthy even if our scars have made us feel like we are not.
Each experience gives us a voice, even if it shakes. Speak your truth and be authentically yourself. I can guarantee you will never look back and regret standing proud in who you are. If we are willing to do that then we can intentionally make our mark on the lives of those who we connect with. Time is a fickle thing so be bold in who and how you love. Whether it is short-lived or long-winded, we must speak blazing truths and indulge in divine chemistry with one another. Stay in your magic– the world truly needs it.
Head up, heart strong.
“Here’s the truth about grace: It probably won’t look like you expect it to. It probably won’t even really make sense to you, because it’s glorious unmerited favor, and nothing else really works that way. There are so many things in life that say to you: “You are not worthy, and you will never be worthy unless you can prove it to me.” Grace says: “I see where you are, and I know that you have been lost out here, but there is still a way home for you. And you are free to carry on that journey, even before it makes sense to you.” – MHN
A new light is shining and I am gallantly inspired. There is something simply glorious about soul connections springing into existence. Our souls have this innate ability to recognize people and environments in which we are going to lovingly blossom. It’s the most natural synergy. Meeting some people will feel so congenial it’s as if you’ve known and been missing them forever. It’s a powerful sensation that speaks to you and says I see you, I understand you and I really really like you for all that you are.
It starts with a gentle serenity and flows into a flourishing bond where calmness washes over you as hope sets on the horizon.
The universe will offer various signs and it is up to us to decide what we are going to make of them. In my humble opinion, welcome all of it. These types of bonds will nourish your soul and have you glowing. In my own experience, it is hard to “seek out” relationships like these. They have a tendency of coming knocking at your door when you had no idea you were expecting a guest. Embrace your intuitions, embrace it all.
Hope has set on the horizon.
Head up, heart strong.
That very moment will stay with me forever
what I was seeing just couldn’t be the truth.
It shook me to my core,
leaving me at war.
Standing in the open,
feeling helplessly broken.
Evidence of a harsh reality.
How do I shield my heart from the pain?
You were so fucking vain.
Willing to hurt me to make yourself feel better
it was the ultimate betrayal.
I didn’t deserve your indifference.
Memories flood my brain,
I’ll never be able to look at you the same.
Empty hopes as I keep searching for ways to cope.
There’s no closure when it comes to this kind of heartbreak.
A close friend of mine once told me that when I don’t know which way to go, be still. Furthermore, allow myself the time that I need to tune into my thoughts, intuitions and physical being.
I feel this immense sense of constantly having to move forward, take the next step, progress. It’s all so typically laid out for us; what we should be doing and have accomplished by certain ages and stages of our lives. There is a “fundamental path” in which we should follow in order to feel and be viewed as successful and fulfilled.
Truth bomb: I’ve taken ten steps forward and doubled back more times than I can count over the last five years. Always helplessly worried about how people are going to perceive me. Well, 2019 and almost-27-year-old Anna says screw it – we’re only human.
Everyone’s journey is different; no two exactly alike. I sometimes struggle to find the meaning in and of it all. Things in our lives can change so fast, it’s hard to catch up all the while trying to take a moment to breathe it in, and then out.
In the midst of the chaos, I forgot to embrace who I am at the root of my being.
I am Anna Toline:
wild spirit
vibrant mind
fiery heart burning with passion
warrior
I am not for everyone. That is something I can wholeheartedly accept. But, I will be damned if I settle to surround myself with people who demand that I am “too much” of anything. No one should feel as if they have to hide parts of themselves from the world.
Some people will eventually give you away. Be gentle on yourself – bless and release.
Be you. Be rare.
and please . . .
journey freely in your truth.
Writing is my thing. Words are my love language and my outlet to freely express. They are my security and they are my escape. Thank you for taking the time and open mind to welcome me back into this space that I have neglected for far too long. I am returning home to myself.
♡
Head up, heart strong.
“People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda.”
Love – a word that holds so much weight. 4 letters that have a meaning for each one of you reading this. I am here, connecting to you through my love language, opening my heart to you. This is my passion I know. As you read on, my hopes are that you will feel, see or think of the various bonds of love within your own life.
Love is exceptional. I manifest love for the “soul” purpose of amplifying compassion and light in the lives of others. I know how daunting emptiness and darkness can feel. If there is one thing I’ve ever been sure of, it is that we should never leave the people we love in the dark. Everything comes and goes, love always remains.
Love knows no time, distance or boundries. Our journeys are deeply rooted in love. Genuine connections – soulful relationships – they are unbreakable bonds of love. There are innumerable types of love and affection. I undoubtably believe that the greatest and strongest bond of love is when the people involved are essential to each others individual natures. Growing separately, together; near or far. It is a force that unites people. Love is an alliance to bring out the soul, passion, potential and human in one another. To bring out the most of everything. Love is a vow to show up and be present (physically and metaphorically).
Love requires a foundation built on:
Love presents itself in many forms, on many levels. Love can feel calm and chaotic. Bonds of love vary; some will thrive while others may be fleeting. We are reflections of all the people we love; past and present. Open your heart. Feel the love within you. Head up, heart strong.
♡
You are loved.
We’re all pursuing something
to achieve a sense of fulfillment.
Love, wealth, independence, purpose.
We mark these successes as lives lived well.
Do you prioritize based on
filling those empty spaces within you
easily, quickly, fully?
Does it have a shelf life?
When you capture what you are after
do you become less satisfied? Uninterested?
Is your attention shifted to the next chase?
When you capture what you are after
does your heart radiate love?
Is passion poured into your soul?
Does it feel like home?
In our divine human nature
we must seek balance and perspective.
How do we distinguish between fleeting + comfortable
versus long-lasting + worthy?
Are you pursuing to feel something or
do you chase to feel anything?
It is a world of difference. Maybe even a lifetime.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
“The core of who you are as a person I believe is permanent, a foundation built throughout the early years of your life. The good stuff however – kindness, selflessness, drive, reason and understanding, all come later. How you choose to decorate who you are is entirely up to you. So be creative.”
-Beau Taplin // The Architect
I’m here. I’m ready. Journeying freely throughout each given day.
The art of reflection is a beautiful practice. It is a way to remind myself where I have been and the direction in which I want to set foot in. I encourage you to reflect, too.
This time of year I find myself especially focused on reflecting. For me, it is the perfect opportunity to step back and understand the complexities and simplicities of my trials and my successes over the past year. Often times we are so caught up in whatever is in front of us that we fail to make sense of it all. We are never going to be able to get closure, answers or understanding of everything that we experience + that is alright. Some experiences are meant to be a simple encounter at that. To distinguish the difference, I ask myself, “is it going to matter a year from now?”
I lead with my heart, but I will never stop questioning. My passion and desires are rooted deeply in my pursuit for growth. I want my soul to be fierce and free while simultaneously allowing myself to explore the truth that lies within my life. To successfully do this, I focus on three things: understanding myself wholly, journeying presently and being mindful of the key people in my life at each given time.
I want my soul to dance. I will move to the rhythm of love, compassion, understanding and open + honest communication.
Open and honest communication allows me to diminish distance between myself and others. I am able to effectively convey my thoughts and feelings to both myself and the key people in my life. I have said it before and I will say it again, my heart thrives on open outpours of love. I love my family who strengthen my heart. I love the one who puts a smile on my face as we grow separately, together. I love my friends and my deep connections with others. I am grateful for the ability to radiate the sensations that these relationships generate in my life.
We are the architects of our lives. Let’s commit. Let’s commit to seeking and pursuing our purposes and our truths genuinely, lovingly and with good intent. The time is now.
May you become everything and more.
Vulnerable, sensitive, rare
engulfed by all the one’s we’ve loved
connected to everything
always reminded of something
With compassion comes pain
isn’t it ironic?
we must carry the heaviness of our lives
or it will smother us
I’m no good at feeling, they say
the pain will go away
please stay
i should change my ways
Talk a lot but never really say anything
no action turning to silence
like sunset shadows and broken skies
we drift away into a new day
143.
“Let em come, the storms, the rain. Let them blow and shake, rattle and flash. These feet will not move, I will lean into the fray and dance in the chaos. I am built for enduring all that can be thrown at me. See me here, still, and listen to the sky tremble.” // Tyler Knott
I’m dancing in the rain. This has been, to put it lightly, a whirlwind of a week, month, year. So here I am on the road again, endlessly discovering myself and my purpose. Refocused and ready to find clarify through this mayhem.
I have always said that time is merely a concept and for reasons that I cannot explain, life will turn to us at any given moment and say “time to put this chapter to rest, lets write an even better one.” So that is what we do, because at the end of the day I think it is safe to say we all know and understand that pain in never permanent.
One day, one decision, one brave moment; that is all it took. I sincerely believe that we have to take risks in order to learn hard life lessons. It isn’t always easy and I promise you that no matter how much you try, you will never be prepared for whatever the outcome is. I tried to protect and prepare myself for all possibilities: it was not enough. There are some things that we just cannot feel until we are in the moment as it is unraveling. Bittersweet and coated with anxiety. When it happened I thought the answer was to gulp the pain and avoid making others suffer. I put myself in a position that I perceived as weak. Thank-you to my friend who reminded me that taking a chance is brave and I should be proud – no matter the aftermath.
There is no growth in comfort. We grow most as a result of the painful and challenging times. This life is not a matter of win or lose – it is a matter of learning. If there is one lesson I encourage people to embrace in their own hardships, it is that you should never reject your instinct. Trust it. Look within and follow your gut – it is leading you somewhere. Be mindful of yourself. What is meant to be will be. I truly believe that some things are meant to stay while others are destined to leave. It is dangerous to count on someone else with your heart and soul. However it’s a risk we take and I’ll tell you one thing – it’s always worth it. People do not want that pressure; it scares them but we do it anyways; often times surprising ourselves with how much we are capable of. So be your own foundation and seek support from friends and family. They are your home team; they are your #1.
When you are facing times in your lives where you are hurt by circumstances you cannot control, take the chance that life is giving you to heal. When one door closes, many doors open.
So until then, dance with me in the rain.
Head up, heart strong.
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