The Tides of Life

Writing is my thing. Words are my love language, my outlet to freely express. They are my security and they are my escape. Words are the strings that connect hearts and souls. I am excited to expand my world with you through this new versatile platform. Welcome to twentysomethingchronicles.com!

The phrase “ebb and flow” was referenced to me today and it sparked something in this jumbled mind of mine to write about. I am most at peace when surrounded by water. I find tranquility as I sit on the dock with my toes in the lake or when I am sitting on the beach, watching the planes take off as the sun sets on the horizon. I feel a calmness cast over me just describing it.

Ebb and flow relate to the two phases of the tide.

Ebb: the outgoing phase – when the tide drains away from the shore
Flow: the incoming phase – when the water rises again

Each phase symbolizing the tides of our lives. Change is the only constant. You will rise and you will fall.

The outgoing phase moves you away from things that are not good for your soul. Like the ocean, leading you to larger, deeper waters. Scary at first, but as you move with the tides you nourish your soul. In this stage, which happens again and again throughout your journey, you will find that you are leaving places and people that you once considered home. Emotionally and physically you fade away from the security of the shore. But if you move in rhythm, you will not drown in the riptides but rather you will learn to flow with the waves. This phase will allow you to move forward with each new day. Going from one place to another, moving steadily. Living in progression rather than regression.

The ebbs and flow of my journey over the last six months have been one hell of a ride. Rising and crashing against the shore, over and over again. As I aspire to inspire, I am learning to be mindful. Mindful of my intuition, my thoughts, feelings, and actions. Each wave is a new lesson. Some harder than others. But I learned that staying in the shallow end (our comfort zone) did more harm than good. The deep waters are where I want to be. The understanding I have of myself and the journey I am on allows me to grow and be more intuitive to both my soul and the souls of those whom I keep close to my heart. The ebbs and flow don’t allow me to harness hate in my heart. Rather they give me the ability to accept my circumstances and the things that are out of my control which is liberating.

People come into our lives constantly, some stay and others will leave and never return. The flux of people coming in and out of my life has always been challenging for me because I fall in love with peoples souls. That was until I realized that I have the power over who I allow to take up space in my life. Guard your space fiercely, be generous but be intentional about who you allow in. When you do this, you have expectations and standards for the individuals you graciously share your ocean with. Each moving in rhythm to your own ebbs and flow and if you are lucky you will beautifully crash and rise together. You will find that this allows yourself and others to add magic to this time in your life. I hope you embrace the moments when you are drawn away from the shore and immersed into rising water.

“Her soul was too deep to explore by those who always swam in the shallow end” (A.J. Lawless).

Soul Mantra

To have a positive mind and a hopeful heart. That is how I am choosing each day to build my life rather than just merely living.

A soul mantra is simply a word or phrase that sets our intention for each day. A soul mantra is a compilation of various components:

Knowing Yourself
Mind, Body, Spirit
Knowing Others

Knowing Yourself

Here is my advice to you: Choose to immerse yourself in your own world and get into your head. Do not live in fear of the future or in the pain of the past. Get comfortable with yourself. Enjoy your own company and solitude. Be confident. Be proud of who you are. Be humble. Understand your strengths and your weaknesses.

When you make the decision to set your dreams and goals in motion you place yourself on the path to becoming the person you most want to be. You allow yourself to seek new experiences as well as good vibes and idiosyncratic thoughts all of which encourage you to grow. When you understand yourself, you learn to better understand others.

In the words of my friend Aaron Patterson, “I’m more comfortable with the fact that the moves I make are bringing me closer to my purpose.”

Mind, Body, Spirit

Life is about making conscious decisions to nourish both your body and soul with the right elements to help you stay strong and healthy. Your heart and soul is the very essence of your being.

Start by stepping back and gaining some perspective. Sometimes when we are too close to something or someone, we are unable to maintain a healthy perspective. Take the time to seek clarity. Many times we know that there are toxic habits or people in our lives and they can be all consuming so we think that they are contributing to our lives – we’re wrong.

Work on replacing bad habits with good ones. Remove people. You do not need to explain yourself. Accept that these people or habits have been a significant part of your life but that they may be hindering your growth. You will be in awe at the things that come to you when you open space for healthier things; sometimes things you didn’t even imagine possible.

Knowing Others

Aforementioned, seek new experiences as well as good vibes and idiosyncratic thoughts. Take the time to connect with like-minded peers but also subject yourself to individuals who have different perspectives and ways of thinking – you could learn something invaluable.

Open up conversation. Be an intellectual. Share your outlooks. Engage in the conversation and observe. You don’t always need to be the one talking; “listen with the intent to understand, not solely with the intent to reply.” Be genuine. We are in a generation where people are driven by money, status and especially ego. So open up a little bit, talk about passion and purpose, art and sports, likes and dislikes.

Discuss what inspires you on your best days and what motivates you on your hardest ones.

Soul Mantra

Give out what you most want to come back because beauty and truth surrounds us. Be conscious of the energy you emit and connect with.

Be with people whose company you enjoy as much or more than your solitude. Whether it’s grabbing a drink, relaxing at a coffee shop, exploring a new city or sitting on the couch at home. Make connections to souls aligned with yours. You will find that encouragement, inspiration and happiness come easy with these people. These are the ones that will contribute to the quality of your life.

Sending positivity and peace to you all.

With Gratitude

Hello lovely,

As we approach this holiday season and the year end, I want to take a moment and thank each and every one of you who takes the time to read my work. It was just a mere eight months ago that I began sharing my writing and the outpour of support, kind words and positive feedback has been overwhelming. The more I share my thoughts and various outlooks on life, the more I have been faced with the question: Why do you write? What motivates you? What inspires you? These are questions I have worked on perfecting over time but I have narrowed it down to this simple answer:

I write because I want people to know that they are not alone.

I began writing because in my darkest and deepest struggles, I found comfort in the words of people that I didn’t know. It was quotes, song lyrics and literature that got me through. There is something powerful about reading words and feeling as if in this great big world, someone else understands your pain. There is something unique about making our pain and sorrows into something beautiful.

2015 has been especially trying for me. I was tested in many different ways. My year started on a sad note. Just a mere six weeks later I found myself heartbroken. My heart was bruised, beaten and lost for so many reasons. I found strength as I do in many of my hard times. Then I was faced with losing someone I love very dearly to death. My spirit faded, my heart became fragile. Since then, I have been through phases of pure happiness, love and joy. I have also experienced grief, anger, and darkness.

Thank you to the people who lent me a shoulder to cry on, and to the ones who made me laugh so hard that my stomach ached the next day. Thank you to the people who challenged me. Thank you to those who forced me to learn hard lessons. Thank you to the friends who left me and the new people that came into my life and stayed. Thank you to the man who taught me what love was, and what it wasn’t. I have learned valuable lessons through the relationships with all of you.

I want to be known as a woman with a big heart, a strong mind and a beautiful soul. We are all responsible for taking opportunities given to us, but also planting the seed that will develop roots for our lives. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all grow together? In sync with the lives of the ones we love? But since that isn’t the way it always works, it is nice to know that we are surrounded by people who support our growth as we support theirs.

As the year ends, I encourage all of you to reflect on this past year. To my family, friends, acquaintances and strangers – you are all wonderful, unique and full of love. I am thankful for everyone – the good and the bad; for they have contributed in shaping me into the woman I am today. I hope I am a contributing part of your growth too.

Wishing you all a happy, blessed and thankful holiday season.

All my love.

The Golden Rule

The Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Simply put, treat others as you would like to be treated. This is one of the oldest lessons in the book. A very matter-of-fact moral principle relating to a fundamental human nature that was taught to us in our early stages of life. But for some reason, our world is filled with individuals and groups that just do not seem to understand how matter of fact The Golden Rule truly is. Many times in my life I have been the victim of venomous words and actions. I too, have also been a perpetrator. We are in an era that makes forgetting The Golden Rule very easy. People hide behind computer screens and cell phones to verbally harass and abuse others. People are belittling one another through vicious words and name-calling. It’s hateful and it’s sick. They can be so tragically and traumatically cruel to strangers, friends and loved ones. I see too many people encouraging disparaging remarks and actions. I witness too many good people treating others with apparent disdain for them. We are all worthy of seeking respect and others are worthy of receiving it.

Words and actions are powerful. They can be so influential to the point that they change peoples’ lives – for the better and for the worse. I have seen both. I have experienced both. As a product of other peoples’ insecurities, I have been torn apart mentally through both words and actions. As an outcome? Well, I became who I am today. A woman I am proud to be. Not perfect, not near it but I am working to be the best version of myself that I can be and then I am going to strive to be even better than that. We as a generation need to spend more time building one another up, supporting each other on our paths to success and teaching our younger generations love and kindness rather than hate and cruelty.

I am not naive. I am not blind to the reasons why people are mean. But I do not want to live my life putting other people down. I do not like everyone. Matter of fact, my circle is small. But I will not lower myself to the levels of others who treat people with disrespect. This world can be hard and life is messy. Everyone truly is fighting their own battles. The way we can make a difference in this world is to help make others’ lives just a little bit easier, lighter, and happier. And if you cannot do that, keep your disrespect and blatant disregard for good to yourself. Indulge in kind words, big hearts and the potential of goodness that we have within ourselves. Inspire yourself to inspire others. It is an act so simple yet so immense. Mother Teresa said, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”

Dark Realities

An emotionally dark place is accompanied by pain, fear, and even stages of numbness. It is a cold and lonely road. In my darkest times I have always turned to my writing. But for the first time, no amount of my words felt as if they would be powerful enough to shed light on overwhelming circumstances. I had complete writers block. Until yesterday, when it was someone else’s words that resonated with me. My friend said to me, “sometimes it’s good to release the sad, we can’t be truly happy if we don’t let ourselves express our sorrows,” he continued, “your words will come to you.” He reminded me why it was words that I always turned to. My writing brings me peace. “I write to hold on. I write to let go. I write because I am a firm believer that we do not have to go through things alone – the good and the bad.” Thank you, Isiah, for reminding me of that.

misfortune: (n) an unfortunate condition or event
sorrow: (n) a feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

We all have our own problems or experiences that cause pain. Through my years I have learned that no experience or problem can be compared or classified as big or small. Our sadness derives from the fact that the situation at hand is close to our hearts and who or what it is matters to us, to our souls. Everyone is different. We all carry the weight of our sorrows in our own ways. Personally, I choose to suffer in silence. As a woman who is very used to being the strong and independent one, it is hard to be completely vulnerable to others. But I am trying to learn that being vulnerable isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s merely human. So, tonight, I write with a heavy heart and a bit of vulnerability.

We make sacrifices for the people we love. We give away a little bit of our hearts and ourselves to everyone that we truly love, all the while having faith that the space we clear will be filled in return. Unfortunately, that is not always the case. Sometimes we are making space for others and when it is not filled we are left with a feeling of emptiness. It is an emptiness that can consume a part of your heart, leaving a void that cannot be filled. There are no promises in love. There is no written contract that states that if you generously give your time, energy and love to other people that they too must return it. It is not how life works. I’ve learned that the hard way – more than once; and I am sure that I will experience it many more times throughout my life. Sometimes our love is not enough to make people stay.

Maybe this is true. That there are some of us who give love and some of us who take love; and that those who give can’t help giving just as those who take can’t help taking; and maybe this is what holds the world in balance. [Chris Abani]

Unedited.

We are always learning something new about ourselves. Sometimes the days pass us by and we don’t even realize that we’re understanding new aspects of who we are. Then there are the rare but truly remarkable moments – an instant that washes over us and suddenly we feel as if we have a little more clarity on who we are. I love those moments. I embrace them.

I write quite often about being “lost.” If you have read my previous posts, then you know that I do not associate the feeling of being lost with negativity. Frankly, I think it is a rather useful feeling as we are each going about our own journeys. As I get older and the road gets windier, instead of seeking answers, I find myself asking more questions. The questions are endless and the roads that lead to the answers are nothing short of complex.

I am a creature of habit. I have always loved routine. I like plans and stability. But, my soul disagrees. In my young adulthood, I am learning day-in and day-out that familiar is beginning to scare me. I am finding a real sense of discomfort and unhappiness in the familiar aspects of my life. My days have begun to feel filled with familiar faces; but ones that lack consistency, loyalty, honesty and sincerity. These are merely just words on a screen but within them lies significant power and meaning. The familiar faces I am surrounded by are starting to be associated with heartbreak, distrust and ingenuity. I do not mean that these people are all specifically treating me with a lack of these virtues but they lack them in the way they treat themselves and others throughout their daily lives. It is terrible and heartbreaking.

This matter leads me to my next point. I do not know who I am in entirety but I have a great sense of independence and will to find out. I soothe my soul through writing and I feed my soul through love and exploration.

“My heart wants roots and my mind wants wings”

Aforementioned, I recently had my own moment of clarity. It was a brief moment, but one thats wake is still washing over me. My moment was well balanced as I was in an unknown city accompanied by a most familiar face. My best friend. An extraordinary human. One who speaks and lives out the virtues of consistency, loyalty, honesty and sincerity. She inspires me.

I am passionate and most inspired by ideas, attitudes and experiences. The unfamiliar excites me and traveling entices me. Traveling holds promises of worldly experience and the opportunity to continually grow and learn about myself and the wonderful things this world has to offer. I do not travel to escape, I travel to capture the very moments that I am in. I travel because when I am in an unfamiliar place or circumstance, I am the most of who I want to be.

I hope that one day I can meet someone and together we can make the most of our moments – big and small. We can travel and ask questions together. But just as I am not seeking answers, I am not going to seek for the right company. Throughout my individual journey and experiences, I am sure that I will stumble upon all the humans that are meant to be in my life, and stay. I smile at the very thought of that day.

In closing, I do not have any answers, wise advice or main point to share with you all today. Everything I just shared with you was raw and unedited. I do not have any of the answers, but I do intend to continue asking questions. So for now, I leave you all with this:

If you’re feeling lost, that is okay. If you do not have the answers, that is okay. Hold onto the moments and the people that make you feel alive. Be present with them.

“The gift of presence is a rare and beautiful gift. To come – unguarded, undistracted – and be fully present, fully engaged with whoever we are with at the moment.”

A Tribute

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gord

On Thursday, May 21, 2015 the world lost a great man. A man who was very dear to me. My heart is heavy. I am weighed down by this loss that feels so immense. I am not only grieving for myself, but for my family. My heart aches. I feel as though a dark cloud casts over me. The rain has already come and gone, but I am left in the wake of the storm.

As I take each day as it comes, I am trying to figure out how I can make the best out of this time in my life. I am trying to find ways to take an experience like this and put a positive spin on it. Then it hit me, I need to do what my Uncle did for others. On Wednesday, May 29, 2015 I stood in front of friends and family, in the celebration of my uncles life and delivered a message that I would like to share with all of you.

A famous writer once said, “too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

These small, sincere acts came very naturally to my uncle Gordy. He was a man who understood and valued the significance of “the little things.” He was a compassionate man with a big heart. He had this incredible ability to make anyone feel important, cared for, and appreciated because he always took a genuine interest in others. I so admire him for that.

The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Gordy always made time. Being around him was always enjoyable. Whether it was sitting and chatting over a cup of coffee, or looking out over Lake Winnipesaukee and sharing deeper conversation. Whatever it was, Gordy was sincerely interested. He was always in the now; focused on you and the conversation that was taking place.

Uncle Gordys ability to connect with and touch the lives of others only heightened when he was diagnosed with cancer just over five years ago. He received an outpouring of support as people rallied around him because they were drawn to his kind, loving and gentle nature. Uncle Gordy, you most certainly did not fight alone.

Thank you for teaching and constantly reminding us the significance of a kind word, a listening ear, and the smallest act of caring. We love you.

So I leave you all with this – do not underestimate “the little things.” 110% of the time they mean the most. Be kind, be loving and be generous with your time and hearts. It doesn’t cost a thing.

May you rest in the sweetest peace, Uncle Gordy. I love you.

When I Falter, You Raise Me Up

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Thursday, May 7, 2015, 7:22PM

It is an absolutely beautiful evening here. I went for a walk around the park and then sat and did my studying. I just looked up and it feels as if Grammy and Bumpa are shinning down on me. They are sending me strength and hope. I can just feel it. I’m passing on that strength and hope to you. We have all come such a long way in Uncle Gords battle with cancer and he would not have been able to fair without you by his side. You are an inspiration. I hope you realize that your generosity, love, support and kindness is a blessing to all of us in your life. There are not enough words to describe how incredible of a mother, wife, sister and friend you are. Don’t lose hope or faith. Time is only a concept. I love you, ttmab.

Tag: strength