Tag: smile

Twenty – You

2020

A new decade. 

Any day can be the day we start something fresh or close a chapter of our lives, but to me there is something invigorating and magical surrounding this time of the year. It’s a time to realign ourselves – to become even more of who and what we want to be.

Happy New Year. 

This platform is a space I created so I could be authentically and unashamedly myself. I share it with all of you because my writing is a process I use to organize the chaos in my soul and heal my spirit. If it resonates with or can help any one of you feel understood, not alone or better able to connect with someone then my purpose of sharing my thoughts is fulfilled.

That being said, I cannot muster up enough words (even for me – hard to believe, I know) to articulate the immense sense of gratitude I feel that you are taking time out of your day to read the pieces I write. If you’ve been with me since the beginning of twentysomethingchronicles or have entrusted me with your time along the way, I thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for entering into this sacred space with me.

“Just because I carry it all so well doesn’t mean it’s not heavy.”

Over the last year, my life was uprooted in more ways than one and my heart just ached with grief and fear of the future. Let me tell you something – grief and fear are one hell of a toxic combination. The anger, confusion, emptiness and emotions attached are intense. My heart felt as if it had weakened. My confidence diminished and I found myself losing sight of who I was and what direction to go in. It brought me to a place where I needed to reevaluate who and what aligns with the life I strive to create for myself. Whether it be staying complacent in any aspect of our lives or harnessing relationships with the wrong people, the universe works overtime to make us uncomfortable when our growth is being hindered.

I feel incredibly grateful for the unwavering love, support and guidance from the people I am surrounded by in my life. The people who saw the darkness overpowering my soul+spirit and refused to jump ship. These individuals are the people you instinctively cherish the most because they are the ones who love you with the same conviction as you love them, even in the moments when you can only show up in pieces. It was also in my harder times when I was introduced to some new incredibly special people. By embracing our vulnerabilities we were able to connect openly, honestly and create bonds because we saw each other through the lens of compassion.

Throughout all of this, I learned some really important lessons. Release the people who took a piece of you, your heart or your spirit. The pain they ensued was merely a reflection of them; the pain does not define who you are or your worth. You are the ONLY ONE who defines your worth. And please, do not allow the hurt to inhibit you from opening up to new people and allowing yourself to be seen as all that you are. The people meant for you will embrace you, love you and fill your life with joy and I promise you this – it will be reciprocated.

“This is your life. And if you want to change it, the first step is realizing that you’ve had the power all along.”

No one can build your life for you and you must remember that YOU (and only you) have power over what the narrative to your story is going to sound and feel like. Please know that the healing process is not linear. Some days just being able to say to yourself, “I am exactly where I need to be and I am doing the best I can do right here, right now” is enough.

The only person you can rely on showing up day in and day out for you is yourself. Show up for yourself. This is your journey and there is no right or wrong way of traveling it. Our lives are not one-size-fits-all.

Connect with your truth – what are your core values? 

Determine them. Show up for them. Be loyal to them.

These shape your behaviors and ultimately your habits. When you are aligned with these values, they dictate your day-to-day. As they say, “you can’t just talk the talk, you must walk the walk.” And as a result, you authentically love yourself. You are proud of the life you are cultivating. And you will no longer be a prisoner of other people’s judgments or malicious actions.

“The most important relationship you are ever going to have is the one you hold with yourself.”

A loving reminder from me to you – your powers come from within.

Head up, heart strong.

Returning

A close friend of mine once told me that when I don’t know which way to go, be still. Furthermore, allow myself the time that I need to tune into my thoughts, intuitions and physical being.

I feel this immense sense of constantly having to move forward, take the next step, progress. It’s all so typically laid out for us; what we should be doing and have accomplished by certain ages and stages of our lives. There is a “fundamental path” in which we should follow in order to feel and be viewed as successful and fulfilled.

Truth bomb: I’ve taken ten steps forward and doubled back more times than I can count over the last five years. Always helplessly worried about how people are going to perceive me. Well, 2019 and almost-27-year-old Anna says screw it  –  we’re only human.

Everyone’s journey is different; no two exactly alike. I sometimes struggle to find the meaning in and of it all. Things in our lives can change so fast, it’s hard to catch up all the while trying to take a moment to breathe it in, and then out.

In the midst of the chaos, I forgot to embrace who I am at the root of my being.

I am Anna Toline:

wild spirit

vibrant mind

fiery heart burning with passion

warrior

I am not for everyone. That is something I can wholeheartedly accept. But, I will be damned if I settle to surround myself with people who demand that I am “too much” of anything. No one should feel as if they have to hide parts of themselves from the world.

Some people will eventually give you away. Be gentle on yourself  –  bless and release.

Be you. Be rare.

and please . . .

journey freely in your truth.

Writing is my thing. Words are my love language and my outlet to freely express. They are my security and they are my escape. Thank you for taking the time and open mind to welcome me back into this space that I have neglected for far too long. I am returning home to myself.

♡

Head up, heart strong.

10 Ways to be Mindful & Present

Time is the most precious thing you are offered in this life. You are constantly moving from one moment to the next. Stand still for a second; appreciating how much bigger this world is than just your day-to-day routine. Begin to practice the art of being aware and mindful of yourself, loved ones and others. This is my advice to you on how to be more mindful and present.

1. Stay true to your word. Follow through with your actions.

2. Be vulnerable and forgiving. Seek closure if you need to.

3. Understand that you are going to need to build walls between you and certain people. Some are never going to be willing to climb that high. Wish them well and send them on their way. For those who do climb, express your appreciation.

4. In life you are going to come across people who you are instantly connected with on a deeper, soulful level. Those people are going to change your life. Embrace, explore and cherish those relationships.

5. Keep every situation in perspective. Take a moment to yourself if you need to.

6. Apologize when you do something wrong – intentional or not. Own up to your mistakes.

7. Be honest with people – especially those you love and are loved by. One day they will thank you for telling them the hard truth. No one will ever thank you for being a liar.

8. There is always more than meets the naked eye. Everyone is fighting their own battles that you know nothing about.

9. Anger is a burden too heavy to bear. Redirect your energies. Send light to the person who you are hurt by.

10. You are never going to have all of the answers. That’s cool though. Smile at the chaos and laugh at the confusion.

Head up, heart strong.