Tag: mindful

Returning

A close friend of mine once told me that when I don’t know which way to go, be still. Furthermore, allow myself the time that I need to tune into my thoughts, intuitions and physical being.

I feel this immense sense of constantly having to move forward, take the next step, progress. It’s all so typically laid out for us; what we should be doing and have accomplished by certain ages and stages of our lives. There is a “fundamental path” in which we should follow in order to feel and be viewed as successful and fulfilled.

Truth bomb: I’ve taken ten steps forward and doubled back more times than I can count over the last five years. Always helplessly worried about how people are going to perceive me. Well, 2019 and almost-27-year-old Anna says screw it  –  we’re only human.

Everyone’s journey is different; no two exactly alike. I sometimes struggle to find the meaning in and of it all. Things in our lives can change so fast, it’s hard to catch up all the while trying to take a moment to breathe it in, and then out.

In the midst of the chaos, I forgot to embrace who I am at the root of my being.

I am Anna Toline:

wild spirit

vibrant mind

fiery heart burning with passion

warrior

I am not for everyone. That is something I can wholeheartedly accept. But, I will be damned if I settle to surround myself with people who demand that I am “too much” of anything. No one should feel as if they have to hide parts of themselves from the world.

Some people will eventually give you away. Be gentle on yourself  –  bless and release.

Be you. Be rare.

and please . . .

journey freely in your truth.

Writing is my thing. Words are my love language and my outlet to freely express. They are my security and they are my escape. Thank you for taking the time and open mind to welcome me back into this space that I have neglected for far too long. I am returning home to myself.

♡

Head up, heart strong.

Love is Spoken Here

“People grow when they are loved well. If you want to help others heal, love them without an agenda.” 

Love – a word that holds so much weight. 4 letters that have a meaning for each one of you reading this. I am here, connecting to you through my love language, opening my heart to you. This is my passion I know. As you read on, my hopes are that you will feel, see or think of the various bonds of love within your own life.

Love is exceptional. I manifest love for the “soul” purpose of amplifying compassion and light in the lives of others. I know how daunting emptiness and darkness can feel. If there is one thing I’ve ever been sure of, it is that we should never leave the people we love in the dark. Everything comes and goes, love always remains. 

Love knows no time, distance or boundries. Our journeys are deeply rooted in love. Genuine connections – soulful relationships – they are unbreakable bonds of love. There are innumerable types of love and affection. I undoubtably believe that the greatest and strongest bond of love is when the people involved are essential to each others individual natures. Growing separately, together; near or far. It is a force that unites people. Love is an alliance to bring out the soul, passion, potential and human in one another. To bring out the most of everything. Love is a vow to show up and be present (physically and metaphorically).

Love requires a foundation built on:

  • values
  • trust
  • honesty
  • reliability
  • balance
  • support
  • communication
  • appreciation

Love presents itself in many forms, on many levels. Love can feel calm and chaotic. Bonds of love vary; some will thrive while others may be fleeting. We are reflections of all the people we love; past and present. Open your heart. Feel the love within you. Head up, heart strong.

Make sure you tell the people you love that you love them. Some will love you back. Others may not. Both are okay. Both are blessings. 

♡

You are loved. 

 

The Pursuit

We’re all pursuing something

to achieve a sense of fulfillment.

Love, wealth, independence, purpose.

We mark these successes as lives lived well.

Do you prioritize based on

filling those empty spaces within you

easily, quickly, fully?

Does it have a shelf life?

When you capture what you are after

do you become less satisfied? Uninterested?

Is your attention shifted to the next chase?

When you capture what you are after

does your heart radiate love?

Is passion poured into your soul?

Does it feel like home?

In our divine human nature

we must seek balance and perspective.

How do we distinguish between fleeting + comfortable

versus long-lasting + worthy?

Are you pursuing to feel something or

do you chase to feel anything?

It is a world of difference. Maybe even a lifetime. 

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Architects

“The core of who you are as a person I believe is permanent, a foundation built throughout the early years of your life. The good stuff however – kindness, selflessness, drive, reason and understanding, all come later. How you choose to decorate who you are is entirely up to you. So be creative.”

-Beau Taplin // The Architect

I’m here. I’m ready. Journeying freely throughout each given day.

The art of reflection is a beautiful practice.  It is a way to remind myself where I have been and the direction in which I want to set foot in. I encourage you to reflect, too.

This time of year I find myself especially focused on reflecting. For me, it is the perfect opportunity to step back and understand the complexities and simplicities of my trials and my successes over the past year. Often times we are so caught up in whatever is in front of us that we fail to make sense of it all. We are never going to be able to get closure, answers or understanding of everything that we experience + that is alright. Some experiences are meant to be a simple encounter at that. To distinguish the difference, I ask myself, “is it going to matter a year from now?”

I lead with my heart, but I will never stop questioning. My passion and desires are rooted deeply in my pursuit for growth. I want my soul to be fierce and free while simultaneously allowing myself to explore the truth that lies within my life. To successfully do this, I focus on three things: understanding myself wholly, journeying presently and being mindful of the key people in my life at each given time.

I want my soul to dance. I will move to the rhythm of love, compassion, understanding and open + honest communication. 

Open and honest communication allows me to diminish distance between myself and others. I am able to effectively convey my thoughts and feelings to both myself and the key people in my life.  I have said it before and I will say it again, my heart thrives on open outpours of love. I love my family who strengthen my heart. I love the one who puts a smile on my face as we grow separately, together. I love my friends and my deep connections with others. I am grateful for the ability to radiate the sensations that these relationships generate in my life.

We are the architects of our lives. Let’s commit. Let’s commit to seeking and pursuing our purposes and our truths genuinely, lovingly and with good intent. The time is now.

May you become everything and more. 

Drifted

Vulnerable, sensitive, rare

engulfed by all the one’s we’ve loved

connected to everything

always reminded of something

 

With compassion comes pain

isn’t it ironic?

we must carry the heaviness of our lives

or it will smother us

 

I’m no good at feeling, they say

the pain will go away

please stay

i should change my ways

 

Talk a lot but never really say anything

no action turning to silence

like sunset shadows and broken skies

we drift away into a new day

143.

Dance with Me

“Let em come, the storms, the rain. Let them blow and shake, rattle and flash. These feet will not move, I will lean into the fray and dance in the chaos. I am built for enduring all that can be thrown at me. See me here, still, and listen to the sky tremble.” // Tyler Knott

I’m dancing in the rain. This has been, to put it lightly, a whirlwind of a week, month, year. So here I am on the road again, endlessly discovering myself and my purpose. Refocused and ready to find clarify through this mayhem.

I have always said that time is merely a concept and for reasons that I cannot explain, life will turn to us at any given moment and say “time to put this chapter to rest, lets write an even better one.” So that is what we do, because at the end of the day I think it is safe to say we all know and understand that pain in never permanent.

One day, one decision, one brave moment; that is all it took. I sincerely believe that we have to take risks in order to learn hard life lessons. It isn’t always easy and I promise you that no matter how much you try, you will never be prepared for whatever the outcome is. I tried to protect and prepare myself for all possibilities: it was not enough. There are some things that we just cannot feel until we are in the moment as it is unraveling. Bittersweet and coated with anxiety. When it happened I thought the answer was to gulp the pain and avoid making others suffer. I put myself in a position that I perceived as weak. Thank-you to my friend who reminded me that taking a chance is brave and I should be proud – no matter the aftermath.

There is no growth in comfort. We grow most as a result of the painful and challenging times. This life is not a matter of win or lose – it is a matter of learning. If there is one lesson I encourage people to embrace in their own hardships, it is that you should never reject your instinct. Trust it. Look within and follow your gut – it is leading you somewhere. Be mindful of yourself. What is meant to be will be. I truly believe that some things are meant to stay while others are destined to leave. It is dangerous to count on someone else with your heart and soul. However it’s a risk we take and I’ll tell you one thing – it’s always worth it. People do not want that pressure; it scares them but we do it anyways; often times surprising ourselves with how much we are capable of. So be your own foundation and seek support from friends and family. They are your home team; they are your #1.

When you are facing times in your lives where you are hurt by circumstances you cannot control, take the chance that life is giving you to heal. When one door closes, many doors open.

So until then, dance with me in the rain.

 

Head up, heart strong.

 

10 Ways to be Mindful & Present

Time is the most precious thing you are offered in this life. You are constantly moving from one moment to the next. Stand still for a second; appreciating how much bigger this world is than just your day-to-day routine. Begin to practice the art of being aware and mindful of yourself, loved ones and others. This is my advice to you on how to be more mindful and present.

1. Stay true to your word. Follow through with your actions.

2. Be vulnerable and forgiving. Seek closure if you need to.

3. Understand that you are going to need to build walls between you and certain people. Some are never going to be willing to climb that high. Wish them well and send them on their way. For those who do climb, express your appreciation.

4. In life you are going to come across people who you are instantly connected with on a deeper, soulful level. Those people are going to change your life. Embrace, explore and cherish those relationships.

5. Keep every situation in perspective. Take a moment to yourself if you need to.

6. Apologize when you do something wrong – intentional or not. Own up to your mistakes.

7. Be honest with people – especially those you love and are loved by. One day they will thank you for telling them the hard truth. No one will ever thank you for being a liar.

8. There is always more than meets the naked eye. Everyone is fighting their own battles that you know nothing about.

9. Anger is a burden too heavy to bear. Redirect your energies. Send light to the person who you are hurt by.

10. You are never going to have all of the answers. That’s cool though. Smile at the chaos and laugh at the confusion.

Head up, heart strong.

Head Up, Heart Strong

Tonight I come to you unguarded. From the goodness in my heart and soul, I want to share a story with you.

Some years ago I was asked to identify five negative traits that I thought I possessed. “Easy”, I thought, “people are telling me all the time things that are wrong with me, they say…”

“You don’t have the right body”

“You’re too emotional & sensitive”

“You’re too smart – it’s intimidating”

“You’re too nice”

“You think too much”

I think I spewed those off in about 30-60 seconds flat. “The list could go on, but you said to only list five.” Following my response, they asked me to name five of my best traits. “Shit…well, uhm…” 

“I like my eyes, I definitely have pretty eyes”

“I have a big heart too”

“That’s it, that’s all I got.”

I look back in hindsight and I think to myself, “REALLY ANNA, THAT’S ALL YOU GOT?”

But at the time that really was all I had. I had been so drastically affected by the judgements of others that I couldn’t identify my worth. They had also become my own judgements of myself. Turns out as we get older, those judgements only become more frequent, harsh and wait for it …. familiar. I’ve heard it all before. There is such a thing as constructive criticism and then there is destructive criticism. Be mindful.

As I have grown, I have also become more self-aware. The things that people identified as my weaknesses turn out to be my greatest strengths and attributes. I wear them proudly like a girl scout does her badges. More significantly, I learned that being unapologetically myself is brave and beautiful. I am flawed and I embrace that. I myself, and myself only, determine my strength and weaknesses.

That moment comes back to me every time someone passes judgement on my physical, mental or emotional state. It is a gentle reminder that I am doing something right. Life is about growth and there is no growth in comfort. You grow in moments when your patience and endurance are being tested. Experiences disguised as setbacks are usually not setbacks at all, but stepping stones that put you ahead.

I feel that a lot of us have felt or do feel lost at times; free and lonely. I understand this. I have an old soul. I believe that the way I perceive the world is different. I could never make sense of it until I began to focus on my truest self. I began making connections between my relationships and my energy. I established my goals and ambitions. You can work on yourself – there is always room for improvement, in the best way.

I have said before that I think self-love and self-awareness are important. We should be comfortable alone. But it is not that cut and dry. I encourage you to expand your heart, mind and soul through friendships, exposure and vast knowledge of the unknown. Personally, that’s my kind of thrill.

Every interaction allows us to react – to think, feel and be. We do not have to have it all figured out. Life is deeper than what we see on the surface. I strongly believe that there are some things we need to work out alone. I also strongly feel that people have forgotten or don’t understand at all how beautiful it is to build and witness progression together – conquering life’s obstacles as a team. People have far too much pride and ego. They think that being vulnerable is a sign of weakness when it truly is a great testament to strength. Do not be so busy feeding your ego that you forget to feed your soul. 

Allowing myself to be open and honest has given me the chance to cultivate relationships and embrace bonds with people that I would have otherwise missed out on if I let fear of risk or rejection get in the way. We do not know what the future holds. We are never certain of our outcomes. If we did and if we were, life would be predictable and we would all be bored and stagnant.

Please be mindful of your thoughts and self-talk. Define your intentions and stop ignoring your intuitions. I encourage you to have the confidence to step out of your comfort zone. Fight for what you love and please be unapologetically yourself.

Head up, heart strong.

The Tides of Life

13552728_10206545989748558_2111440664_nWriting is my thing. Words are my love language, my outlet to freely express. They are my security and they are my escape. Words are the strings that connect hearts and souls. I am excited to expand my world with you through this new versatile platform. Welcome to twentysomethingchronicles.com!

The phrase “ebb and flow” was referenced to me today and it sparked something in this jumbled mind of mine to write about. I am most at peace when surrounded by water. I find tranquility as I sit on the dock with my toes in the lake or when I am sitting on the beach, watching the planes take off as the sun sets on the horizon. I feel a calmness cast over me just describing it.

Ebb and flow relate to the two phases of the tide.

  • Ebb: the outgoing phase – when the tide drains away from the shore
  • Flow: the incoming phase – when the water rises again

Each phase symbolizing the tides of our lives. Change is the only constant. You will rise and you will fall.

The outgoing phase moves you away from things that are not good for your soul. Like the ocean, leading you to larger, deeper waters. Scary at first, but as you move with the tides you nourish your soul. In this stage, which happens again and again throughout your journey, you will find that you are leaving places and people that you once considered home. Emotionally and physically you fade away from the security of the shore.  But if you move in rhythm, you will not drown in the riptides but rather you will learn to flow with the waves. This phase will allow you to move forward with each new day. Going from one place to another, moving steadily. Living in progression rather than regression.

The ebbs and flow of my journey over the last six months have been one hell of a ride. Rising and crashing against the shore, over and over again. As I aspire to inspire, I am learning to be mindful. Mindful of my intuition, my thoughts, feelings, and actions. Each wave is a new lesson. Some harder than others. But I learned that staying in the shallow end (our comfort zone) did more harm than good. The deep waters are where I want to be. The understanding I have of myself and the journey I am on allows me to grow and be more intuitive to both my soul and the souls of those whom I keep close to my heart. The ebbs and flow don’t allow me to harness hate in my heart. Rather they give me the ability to accept my circumstances and the things that are out of my control which is liberating.

People come into our lives constantly, some stay and others will leave and never return. The flux of people coming in and out of my life has always been challenging for me because I fall in love with peoples souls. That was until I realized that I have the power over who I allow to take up space in my life. Guard your space fiercely, be generous but be intentional about who you allow in. When you do this, you have expectations and standards for the individuals you graciously share your ocean with. Each moving in rhythm to your own ebbs and flow and if you are lucky you will beautifully crash and rise together. You will find that this allows yourself and others to add magic to this time in your life. I hope you embrace the moments when you are drawn away from the shore and immersed into rising water.

“Her soul was too deep to explore by those who always swam in the shallow end” (A.J. Lawless).

The Golden Rule

The Golden Rule –  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Simply put, treat others as you would like to be treated. This is one of the oldest lessons in the book. A very matter-of-fact moral principle relating to a fundamental human nature that was taught to us in our early stages of life. But for some reason, our world is filled with individuals and groups that just do not seem to understand how matter of fact The Golden Rule truly is. Many times in my life I have been the victim of venomous words and actions. I too, have also been a perpetrator. We are in an era that makes forgetting The Golden Rule very easy. People hide behind computer screens and cell phones to verbally harass and abuse others. People are belittling one another through vicious words and name-calling. It’s hateful and it’s sick. They can be so tragically and traumatically cruel to strangers, friends and loved ones. I see too many people encouraging disparaging remarks and actions. I witness too many good people treating others with apparent disdain for them. We are all worthy of seeking respect and others are worthy of receiving it.

Words and actions are powerful. They can be so influential to the point that they change peoples’ lives – for the better and for the worse. I have seen both. I have experienced both. As a product of other peoples’ insecurities, I have been torn apart mentally through both words and actions. As an outcome? Well, I became who I am today. A woman I am proud to be. Not perfect, not near it but I am working to be the best version of myself that I can be and then I am going to strive to be even better than that. We as a generation need to spend more time building one another up, supporting each other on our paths to success and teaching our younger generations love and kindness rather than hate and cruelty.

I am not naive. I am not blind to the reasons why people are mean. But I do not want to live my life putting other people down. I do not like everyone. Matter of fact, my circle is small. But I will not lower myself to the levels of others who treat people with disrespect. This world can be hard and life is messy. Everyone truly is fighting their own battles. The way we can make a difference in this world is to help make others’ lives just a little bit easier, lighter, and happier. And if you cannot do that, keep your disrespect and blatant disregard for good to yourself. Indulge in kind words, big hearts and the potential of goodness that we have within ourselves. Inspire yourself to inspire others. It is an act so simple yet so immense. Mother Teresa said, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”