Tag: actions

Twenty – You

2020

A new decade. 

Any day can be the day we start something fresh or close a chapter of our lives, but to me there is something invigorating and magical surrounding this time of the year. It’s a time to realign ourselves – to become even more of who and what we want to be.

Happy New Year. 

This platform is a space I created so I could be authentically and unashamedly myself. I share it with all of you because my writing is a process I use to organize the chaos in my soul and heal my spirit. If it resonates with or can help any one of you feel understood, not alone or better able to connect with someone then my purpose of sharing my thoughts is fulfilled.

That being said, I cannot muster up enough words (even for me – hard to believe, I know) to articulate the immense sense of gratitude I feel that you are taking time out of your day to read the pieces I write. If you’ve been with me since the beginning of twentysomethingchronicles or have entrusted me with your time along the way, I thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for entering into this sacred space with me.

“Just because I carry it all so well doesn’t mean it’s not heavy.”

Over the last year, my life was uprooted in more ways than one and my heart just ached with grief and fear of the future. Let me tell you something – grief and fear are one hell of a toxic combination. The anger, confusion, emptiness and emotions attached are intense. My heart felt as if it had weakened. My confidence diminished and I found myself losing sight of who I was and what direction to go in. It brought me to a place where I needed to reevaluate who and what aligns with the life I strive to create for myself. Whether it be staying complacent in any aspect of our lives or harnessing relationships with the wrong people, the universe works overtime to make us uncomfortable when our growth is being hindered.

I feel incredibly grateful for the unwavering love, support and guidance from the people I am surrounded by in my life. The people who saw the darkness overpowering my soul+spirit and refused to jump ship. These individuals are the people you instinctively cherish the most because they are the ones who love you with the same conviction as you love them, even in the moments when you can only show up in pieces. It was also in my harder times when I was introduced to some new incredibly special people. By embracing our vulnerabilities we were able to connect openly, honestly and create bonds because we saw each other through the lens of compassion.

Throughout all of this, I learned some really important lessons. Release the people who took a piece of you, your heart or your spirit. The pain they ensued was merely a reflection of them; the pain does not define who you are or your worth. You are the ONLY ONE who defines your worth. And please, do not allow the hurt to inhibit you from opening up to new people and allowing yourself to be seen as all that you are. The people meant for you will embrace you, love you and fill your life with joy and I promise you this – it will be reciprocated.

“This is your life. And if you want to change it, the first step is realizing that you’ve had the power all along.”

No one can build your life for you and you must remember that YOU (and only you) have power over what the narrative to your story is going to sound and feel like. Please know that the healing process is not linear. Some days just being able to say to yourself, “I am exactly where I need to be and I am doing the best I can do right here, right now” is enough.

The only person you can rely on showing up day in and day out for you is yourself. Show up for yourself. This is your journey and there is no right or wrong way of traveling it. Our lives are not one-size-fits-all.

Connect with your truth – what are your core values? 

Determine them. Show up for them. Be loyal to them.

These shape your behaviors and ultimately your habits. When you are aligned with these values, they dictate your day-to-day. As they say, “you can’t just talk the talk, you must walk the walk.” And as a result, you authentically love yourself. You are proud of the life you are cultivating. And you will no longer be a prisoner of other people’s judgments or malicious actions.

“The most important relationship you are ever going to have is the one you hold with yourself.”

A loving reminder from me to you – your powers come from within.

Head up, heart strong.

Magic

You don’t have to fear the darkness

Light yourself up

a flickering flame

in the home of your own soul.

And don’t you allow your heart to crack

at the hands of others

bitter words,

cold actions,

silence.

Toughen your exterior

heighten your criteria.

Not everyone should be 

granted access to your energy.

You are as pure as they come

so fuck the masses.

Cultivate your own chaos

rather than carrying the

weight of others.

You mustn’t lose

your madness,

baby   –

you are magic.

✴

The Golden Rule

The Golden Rule –  “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Simply put, treat others as you would like to be treated. This is one of the oldest lessons in the book. A very matter-of-fact moral principle relating to a fundamental human nature that was taught to us in our early stages of life. But for some reason, our world is filled with individuals and groups that just do not seem to understand how matter of fact The Golden Rule truly is. Many times in my life I have been the victim of venomous words and actions. I too, have also been a perpetrator. We are in an era that makes forgetting The Golden Rule very easy. People hide behind computer screens and cell phones to verbally harass and abuse others. People are belittling one another through vicious words and name-calling. It’s hateful and it’s sick. They can be so tragically and traumatically cruel to strangers, friends and loved ones. I see too many people encouraging disparaging remarks and actions. I witness too many good people treating others with apparent disdain for them. We are all worthy of seeking respect and others are worthy of receiving it.

Words and actions are powerful. They can be so influential to the point that they change peoples’ lives – for the better and for the worse. I have seen both. I have experienced both. As a product of other peoples’ insecurities, I have been torn apart mentally through both words and actions. As an outcome? Well, I became who I am today. A woman I am proud to be. Not perfect, not near it but I am working to be the best version of myself that I can be and then I am going to strive to be even better than that. We as a generation need to spend more time building one another up, supporting each other on our paths to success and teaching our younger generations love and kindness rather than hate and cruelty.

I am not naive. I am not blind to the reasons why people are mean. But I do not want to live my life putting other people down. I do not like everyone. Matter of fact, my circle is small. But I will not lower myself to the levels of others who treat people with disrespect. This world can be hard and life is messy. Everyone truly is fighting their own battles. The way we can make a difference in this world is to help make others’ lives just a little bit easier, lighter, and happier. And if you cannot do that, keep your disrespect and blatant disregard for good to yourself. Indulge in kind words, big hearts and the potential of goodness that we have within ourselves. Inspire yourself to inspire others. It is an act so simple yet so immense. Mother Teresa said, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.”