I turn twenty-three tomorrow. So as I do every year, I have reflected on my past and the impact it has made on my present. I like to take a glimpse at my experiences and decide where it will lead me during the year ahead. With a heavy heart and optimistic soul – I want to share with you all a lesson I have been learning over the course of my twenty-three years and a lesson I am still working on understanding entirely myself. Here goes nothing.

I have experienced a lot of heartbreak, especially recently. I have a big heart and I wear it on my sleeve. I am honest and loyal to the end. It is one of my greatest strengths. Unfortunately though, I often think that everyone else is like that too. Which is by no means a bad thing, however, it’s false. It is a risk to love. It can be fleeting, long-lasting or somewhere in between. Sometimes it doesn’t exist even when we think it does. That is when the head versus heart battle comes into play. More often than not, my heart says one thing while the logic in my mind tells me otherwise. My heart always wins. But my mind is always right. Everything in our lives can be a lesson if we let it. This year, my lesson came from heartbreak and it taught me about my soul.

Let me explain.

First, once I love someone, I always love them. “One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” So as you read, you will notice I do not use the word “loved” because if you truly love someone, they remain in your heart – always. Second, I am not solely speaking of the romantic type of love. My heartache stems from both friendships and romantic involvement.

So what did these heartaches have in common? Well, they both hurt like hell. My heart aches and my eyes water thinking about it. I do not mean it in the dramatic way either. These are the type of heartaches that you carry with you for a lifetime. These type of individuals leave marks on your life and they take away a piece of your heart when they hurt you.

Someone once said,  “when one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Now, I said that I learned a very important lesson about my soul. I learned that we humans have this incredible innate ability to recognize each other by vibes. If we meet someone and the vibes are positive than we have recognized that a part of our soul aligns with the others. Now I do not mean the type of positive vibes that people use in the context of fleeting happiness or upbeat moods. I mean the type of vibe that makes you feel connected to someone instantly.

I always say that time is just a concept and I firmly believe it. I have learned and been able to welcome new people into my life with whom my soul aligns. They are the type of honest, compassionate, loyal people who connect with me on a level deeper than the surface. These type of people come into your life and you hurt when the other does and you are full of joy when they are. It is a connection so strong that is makes any heartache you have been through feel worth it. How wonderful is it to know that from something so sad can lead to a feeling so incredible.

I encourage you all to follow your vibes. Connect with people through your souls. Trust me, you will know. It is a feeling you recognize immediately. I am lucky to have a few people in my life – old and new – whose souls have found mine.

As for the ones we love, but our souls do not align – be at peace with them, remind them you love them, and send them on their way. They too deserve to find whom their souls align with.

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” -Thomas Merton